California Dreams - S1:EP11 - "They Shoot Videos, Don't They?"

Sly enters Sharkey's wearing a wacky vest, and carrying a giant camcorder.  Remember those things?

Sly introduces the viewers to the Dreams.  He introduces Jenny as his future wife.  Jenny: I'll be your wife when Murphy Brown marries Dan Quayle.  Whoa, that's the 2nd Dan Quayle reference this season.  So timely!

Tony wants to say hello to some special ladies.  He begins listing them when Sly reminds him that it's only a 2 hour tape.

Sly walks over to Matt and Randy Jo (hey! she's back!)  "having a tender, private moment"  Matt tells Sly that he ruined said tender moment and shoves a hamburger bun at the camera.  Randy Jo wonders aloud if Sly is on some medication that he forgot to take.

Sly tells them that he wants to enter them in a video contest.  The winner gets $10,000.

Sly and Tony drool over a girl who walks by.   Tiffany hands Sly a tissue.  Randy Jo tells Matt that he's the best boyfriend ever because he didn't even look at the girl who walked by.  Matt tells her that he already has everything he wants to look at.   The audience reaction track "Awwwws"

Sly runs off to begin casting the video.  He approaches the girl from a few seconds ago and tells her he's going to make her a star.  She says that she's always wanted to be an astronaut.

Back at Casa de Garrison,   the family is eating dessert.  Mrs. Garrison says how much she likes the cheesecake.  She admits that it's not as good as the cake from hers and Mr. Garrison's honeymoon.  The kids finish the story for her.  They've heard this one before!

Dennis and Jenny joke about how mushy it is.  Matt thinks it's nice; he wants to be romantic when he's old!  Mrs Garrison: Thanks!  I think"

In the Garrison kitchen, Sly, Matt and Jenny are discussing plans for their video.  Sly's plan involved Matt kissing someone named Nikki Denteen.  Jenny tells him that Randy Jo will never go for it.  Sure enough...

Later that night at the movies, Matt and Randy Jo are arguing about it.  Matt insists that it's "just acting"  Randy Jo asks Matt how he'd feel about her kissing the football captain, and suddenly it clicks.

In the garage the next day, the gang is preparing to film their video.  Matt tells Sly that he's not going to kiss Nikki.  Sly tells him that he has to.   Matt tells him that he promised Randy Jo that he wouldn't kiss Nikki.  They argue for a bit, then Tiffany jumps in and gives Sly a pep talk about keeping promises.  Sly agrees to change the script.  He walks over to Nikki and whispers something to her.  She nods.

At that moment, Randy Jo runs into the garage and asks if she can watch them film.  They begin fliming, and Nikki kisses Matt anyway.  Randy Jo is pissed.  Sly calls "Cut!"  He tells Nikki and Matt how great it was.  Randy Jo goes up to Matt to give him an earful.  He insists that he didn't know it was going to happen.    She tells him that she'll never trust him again, and leaves.  Matt yells at Sly and leaves to go after Randy Jo.

At Sharkey's, everyone comments on how mad Matt is.  Tony says that Matt has a right to be mad and that Sly is a "no good, video-shooting, bimbo-casting, relationship-killing chump"  -- and that's on a good day!

Tiffany tells them that Sly really wants to help Matt fix things with Randy Jo.  Jenny says that Sly should stay out of it.  Right on cue, Sly runs into Sharkey's and approaches Randy Jo.  She says "back off, Sly!  I've got a fork and I know how to use it!"

Sly tells Randy Jo that Matt is really sick.   He can't eat or sleep, and his fever is so high, "you can fry bacon on his face!"  Randy Jo decides to go see if Matt is okay.  She gets up to leave, and Matt walks into Sharkey's  He's excited to see her, but she gets pissed again.  Matt goes to yell at Sly.  Sly tells him he was trying to help, but Matt says to stop "helping"

In Matt's room, Tony is trying to help Matt too.  He encourages him to try calling Randy Jo again.  Matt said that he's already  called 12 times.  Tony tells him to forget about girls, and leaves for his date with Jasmine.

Down in the kitchen, Tiffany is telling Jenny about a new guy she met.

In the garage, Mr and Mrs.  Garrison have just found their wedding cake topper with a copy of their wedding vows!

Poor Matt can't get away from all the relationship talk.

Also, it should be noted that their "vows" said" We met in the spring, and dated through the summer.  Without you in my life, fall is a bummer!"  Mrs. Garrison says: "and I married him anyway!"

Matt tells his parents that he's still upset about Randy Jo, and they leave him in the garage with his thoughts.  He laments being single while everyone else has someone.  I  know that feeling all too well, Matt!

He sits down at his keyboard and sings a song about being single.  Sly comes into the garage with the camcorder, and tells Matt that the song sounds good.  Matt is still mad and tells him to go away.

Sly has a new idea for the video; this time, he wants to get kissed.  Matt doesn't want to hear it.   He asks Sly again to leave him alone.  Sly gets really serious for a moment and apologizes to Matt.  He actually sounds sincere.  Matt accepts his apology and tells him that they can discuss everything later.  They shake hands, and Sly leaves.

Matt tries singing is new song again, and Sly sneaks back in with the camera.

Later, Sly comes into the kitchen, and sees Mr. and Mrs. Garrison leaving for their anniversary.  He congratulates them and they leave.  He asks Jenny what she thinks about getting the band together to practice.  She thinks it might help lift Matt's spirits, and agrees to call Tony and Tiffany.

When Jenny is out of the kitchen, Sly asks Dennis how he feels about being a "home video engineer"

Cut to the garage, Dennis is hiding in the trash barrel with the camcorder.  Dennis asks why he can't just tell them that he's filming them.  Sly says that he doesn't want them to think he's being insensitive and exploiting Matt's feelings.  Dennis is like "yeah, and?"  Sly tells Dennis to shut up and get in the garbage.

When everyone else enters the garage, Tony goes right for the barrel and is about to throw a cup away. Not wanting Dennis to get caught, Sly tells Tony that he'll take care of the cup.

Sly asks Matt if he can think of a song to play.  He wants something "depressing and not about being in love"  Matt is like "hey let's sing my new song"  Jenny is about to throw away her gum, and Sly takes that too.  Ew.

Tiffany comes into the garage and apologizes for being late.  She offers the gang the last of her milkshake.  When they decline, she throws it away before Sly can stop her.  From inside the trash, Dennis says "mmm! Chocolate!"

Later, (the next day?)  Everyone is wondering where Sly is.  Apparently he asked them to meet him  there.  When he arrives, he asks them if they remember the video contest.  Jenny is like "yup.  Not happening"  Sly is like "haha I entered you anyway!  He tells them that he filmed them when they were in the garage.  Everyone is really mad until they find out that it's going to be on TV.

Cut to some sort of local station, where they play the video.  It starts with everyone in the garage, then cuts to a montage of scenes that we've never seem before.

Everyone loves the video.  They find out that they didn't win, and are a little disappointed.  Sly apologies.  Matt says that it's okay; he just misses Randy Jo.  Sly has something that will cheer him up.  He sent Randy Jo the video, and she's waiting outside!

They make up, and leave to go talk.  Everyone is amazed that Sly did something nice.  Jenny is amazed that Dennis helped.  She wants to know how much Sly paid him.  Right on cue, Sly's date and a girl Dennis' age show up.  Dennis: Come on, Sly !  We can't keep the babes waiting!

California Dreams - S1:EP10 - "Romancing the Tube"

Tiffany joins the gang at Sharkey's.  Matt expresses is condolences that Tiffany broke up with Kevin.   Who is Kevin?  Why are we only hearing about him now?  Tiffany says that she's okay.  Jenny is impressed, as the last time she broke up with a guy, she locked herself in her room and watched thirtysomething reruns for a month.

Tiffany claims that they break up taught her some important lessons that will help her future relationships.  Speaking of Tiffany's future relationships, when do we get to season 2?  I want the Jake episodes!

Tony wants to know what the important lesson was.  Tiffany explains that Kevin couldn't swim, so now she only wants to date surfers.  Right on cue, Sly comes in with a surfboard.   Or, I should say, he TRIED to come in with a surfboard.   He actually ran into the door while holding the surfboard.  Once he makes it into Sharkey's, he ends up running into several people and nearly knocking them over with the board.

Like, McKayla Maroney, Tiffany is not impressed.

Tony explains that Sly doesn't actually like surfing, he just likes surfer girls.  Since they'd rather drown him than date him, his plan is to pretend to be a surfer.

At the next table, Sly is flirting with a group of girls.  He asks them "who wants to make some waves with Uncle Sly?"  One of the girls says "wipe out!" and they all dump their water on him.  An extra in the background makes a big deal out of laughing.

Tiffany tells Sly that surfing is serious business and he shouldn't exploit it.  Sly insists that he's not exploiting it.  He's using it for his own personal gain!  Tiffany offers him some surfing pointers.

Back at the garage, Tony and Matt show Jenny an ad for the "Garage Band Lighting System"  Apparently it's going to "blow away the competition with a pulsating extravaganza of color"  It sounds a lot like the fireworks that my aunt buys every 4th of July.

Turns out, it costs $300.  This will not end well.

Matt suggests asking their mother to hire them to do some work upstairs.  Jenny points out that this is counterproductive because then Mrs. Garrison would have to hire someone to do it right.

Mrs. Garrison comes into the garage.  Matt asks if they can paint the upstairs.  "We'll do it for only $300!"  Mrs Garrison says no pretty quickly.  Jenny points out that some cultures eat their first born. o_O

Matt begs Mrs. Garrison some more.  She's basically like "nice guilt trip, kid!"  and they get the job.  Matt asks to be paid in advance, and Mrs. Garrison agrees.

Everyone cheers.  Then Sly and Tiffany come in after Sly's surfing lesson.  They had a great time on the waves, and Tiffany tells Sly that he's a natural.  Jenny tells them that she, Tony and Matt will paint the room so the surfers can have more time on the waves.

Later, the gang is at Sharkey's.  Tiffany and Sly join them.  The others notice that Sly and Tiffany seem to be getting along well lately.  (Tiffany even gave Sly a surfer nickname - Splashy Nose or something equally silly/ridiculous.

Sly tells them that he and Tiffany are going to the movies together later that night.

Jenny tells Tiffany that she's nuts.  Tiffany says that no, she's not nuts.  Sly wants to be loved, and frolick in the waves like a happy porpoise. No, she really said that  I think I agree with Jenny.  Tiffany is nuts.

Later, at the movies, Tiffany and Sly keep sneaking glances at each other.  The movie ends, the lights come up, and Sly wipes away a tear.  Tiffany catches him.  Sly says that he's not crying about the movie; he's upset about paying $7.50 for "this garbage"!  Aww, remember when movies were cheap?  I remember paying $7.50 in the mid-nineties.  I think it was $4.50 for a matinee back then.  I can't remember what I paid last time I went to the movies.  I think it was over $11.

Tiffany tells Sly that she thinks it's beautiful when a man cries.  Sly tells her that he's glad she didn't see him when he watched Bambi.  Then this happens:

Then they have a conversation that mimics the last line of the movie they just watched.  They kiss, and the camera pans over to the gang watching in disgust.

The next day at Sharkey's, Tony and Matt join Sly, and ask him where Tiffany is.  He tells them that she's out "checking on the surf"  and that he misses her.  Tony and Matt congratulate Sly on his newfound happiness.

Just then, a girl comes over and tells Sly that his surfing impressed her and she wants him to join her for a couple waves.  He perks up for a second, then turns her down.

The girl leaves, and Sly turns back to the guys to talk about Tiffany some more.  Then another girl comes over to ask Sly to boogie with her, using the extra boogie board.  He turns her down too.

Yet another girl comes over and asks Sly to help her rub on some tanning lotion.  He looks at Matt who shakes his head.  Sly pouts and asks "just the shoulders?"

They girl offers to help him. She grabs his hand and puts it on her shoulder.  Sly says "I can't"  The girl says "Your loss!"  "I know" Sly whimpers.

Sly realizes that he misses chasing girls and decides that he needs to break up with Tiffany.

Back at the Garrison house, Matt and Jenny have begun the painting session.  They complain that Tony hasn't done anything yet. Sly comes in and they ask him if he broke up with Tiffany yet.  He confesses that he doesn't know how to dump a girl.  Tony points out that it's because Sly is usually the one getting dumped.  Sly decides that he's going to find a way to get Tiffany to dump him.  Jenny tells him not to play games with her.  Sly says that he's going to give Tiffany a list of rules to follow if she wants to keep dating him.  I don't see this ending well either.

Sly decides to test the rules out on Jenny.  After each one, she rolls paint onto him.

After Sly leaves, Tony, Jenny and Matt end up having a paint fight.  Dennis (I feel like we haven't seen him for a while!) comes in and tells them that Mrs. Garrison wants them to quit it.  They all surround Dennis and include him in the paint fight.

Back at Sharkey's, Sly gives Tiffany the list of rules.  She says that she'd love to commit to his rules.  Sly is quickly realizing that his plan isn't going the way he'd hoped.  Tiffany says that it's important to state your needs upfront.  In fact, she's going to make a list of her own!  After they compare lists, they'll celebrate their love with a "Soul Swapping Surfer Ceremony"  She explains that it's the customary way for Pacific Coast surfers to seal their eternal love.

Tiffany comes into the garage and Sly is there.  She acts surprised to see him at rehearsal.  (why wouldn't he be there?)  He lies that he couldn't stand to be apart from her.  He tells her that he wants to talk to her about the ceremony, and she says that it can wait because she wants to sing him a song.

She sings "Let Me Be the One" which I don't remember hearing more than once on the show.  I know there were a handful of repeats, but I think this is the only time that this song came up, which is fine, because it's, um, not very good.

After the song, everyone cheers.  Tiffany asks what Sly wanted to say about the ceremony.  He chickens out and tells her that he can't wait.  They run off to talk about the arrangements.

Just then, Dennis comes into the garage to tell them that they have mail.  It's their new lighting system!  They run into the kitchen to check it out.  Dennis tells Matt that he tipped the delivery man and wants to be reimbursed.  Matt tells him that it was nice of him, and hands him the money.  Matt leaves.  Dennis giggles and says "Sucker!"

Matt, Tony and Jenny go into the kitchen to open their package, and Matt pulls out.... a flashlight.  Tony wants to know what's up with the "bubble gum boy scout flashlight"

Matt says that they'll return it.  Jenny points out that it's non-refundable and complains that they got ripped off.  Matt says that the box includes colored gels,  He realizes that they did, indeed, get ripped off.

Mrs. Garrison comes into the kitchen to say that the upstairs room looks like a Guns and Roses motel room. Jenny apologizes and says that they threw in the towel.  Mrs. Garrison asks for her money back.  Matt explains that they already spent it on the lighting system.  Mrs. Garrison says that she'll confiscate it until they pay her back.  Oh well!

Next up is the Surfer Ceremony thing and it's ridiculous and I'm tired and can't recap it.  Let's just say that it  involves a lot of surfers hanging around Sharkey's, throwing around words like "Gnarly" and trumpeting out of conch shells.  Matt strums his guitar and sings softly.  The surfer dudes do the wave.

the guy in the middle is the Great Surfer Guru.  No, I'm serious

When the Surfer Guru tells them that the ceremony means they can't "scope other Betties and Tommies"  Tiffany realizes that she wants to be free to date other people.  They Sly gets all upset about it even though he's the one who wanted to break up with her. 

The Guru dismisses everyone to go out and surf.

Two girls come up to Sly and ask him to join them out on the waves.  He realizes that he'll be okay after all.

aaaaaand.... SCENE.  Man, this episode was a weird one.  No wonder it took me a week to finish,

California Dreams - S1:EP9 - "Mother and Child Reunion"

I just checked IMDB, and apparently, this episode aired 20 years ago this week.  We're old, you guys.

The gang walks into the garage, complaining to Sly that it's been a month since their last gig.  Jenny points out that it's actually been 32 days.  Sly says they need a new image.  Matt says they need to practice more.  Jenny suggests more dance songs.  Tony suggests a new manager.

Up in the kitchen, Mrs. Garrison is cooking when there's a knock at the door.  She opens the door, and a blonde woman excitedly greets her.  Mrs. Garrison smiles and nods while trying to figure out who this woman is.  She reveals herself to be Tiffany's estranged mother, Judy.

Back in the garage, Sly is still trying to come up with a gimmick for the band.  Tiffany leaves to go home and do laundry, explaining to the gang that her dad has been busy, so that just leaves her.  Oh, Tiffany, if only you knew what was to come.

Jenny and Matt come into the kitchen and see their mom and Tiffany's mom.  She excitedly greets them too, and Matt has basically the same reaction as his mother.  Jenny, however, knows exactly what's up.

They all ask if Tiffany  that she's back in town.  Judy admits that she tried going to the house, but no one was home.  Since she remembered Jenny, she decided to drop by.  Oh sure, showing up announced to your daughter's friend's house before seeing your daughter that you haven't seen in 10 years.  Seems reasonable.

Sly and Tony come into the kitchen, and Sly hits on Judy.  Shocking.

Judy asks the kids where she can find Tiffany.  Jenny explains that it might not be a good idea to surprise Tiffany like that.  She offers to break the news for her.  Everyone seems to think this is a good idea. Jenny tells Judy to leave everything to her, Matt and Tony.

At Tiffany's house, Tiffany is in her room cleaning her surfboard.    The gang comes into her room.  She's happy to see them.  Sly makes himself comfortable on Tiffany's bed with her stuffed animals.  Tiffany tells him to be careful of her "special stuffies"  Sly protests that stuffed animals are built to last, and demonstrates by accidentally yanking the head off of the bunny.

and he's even wearing a silly vest!

Tiffany tells them how happy she is that they came over.  Matt says that he hopes she still feels that way after they tell her what they have to tell her.  Tiffany is smiling brightly throughout the whole exchange.  Man, she's adorable.  Jenny tells her that it would help if she didn't smile.  Tiffany makes a straight face for like, 2 seconds, then giggles and says that her face is "naturally smiley."

Exasperated, Sly gets up and says that he'll take care of it.  This can't end well.  He starts by saying "all those whose mothers ran away 10 years ago, never to be heard from again, please raise your hand"  Tiffany is confused, but she raises her hand.  Sly puts her hand down and says "Not so fast, Smith!"  Everyone else: "Sly!"

Jenny gently tells Tiffany that her mother is back and wants to see her.  Tiffany is surprised and happy.   Sly is glad she's happy, and takes that opportunity to tell her about the beheading of her bunny.

At the Garrison house, Mrs. Garrison comes to get Tiffany in Matt's room where they're all hanging out.  She tells her that her mom is waiting downstairs.  Tiffany admits that she's nervous now. She's worried about saying something stupid.   Matt and Jenny give her a pep talk, and she decides to head downstairs.  She runs into Sly on the way, who says "Hey Tiff.  Going to see your mom?  Don't say anything stupid!"

Sly plugs in his smoke machine, "The Smoke-a-tron 2000"  The gang is skeptical.  Sly tells them to trust him, and turns on the machine.  In a matter of seconds, the room is filled with smoke.

In the kitchen, Mrs Garrison and Judy are talking.  Mrs. Garrison sees Tiffany and leaves the kitchen so they can have privacy.  Tiffany and Judy hug and cry.  The audience "awwwws"  They try to figure out what to talk about when they suddenly smell smoke.  Everyone else comes downstairs, followed by the cloud of smoke.  Matt tells Sly that he thought he knew how to use it.  Sly says "It's not my fault your room isn't a well ventilated area!"  Tony says "Someone should ventilate your head, you big Smokey the Bear lookin' chump!"

Sly says that it's just smoke, and it's not like anything is on fire.  Just then, they hear firetrucks on the way.  Tiffany and Judy leave to find somewhere quiet to talk.  

In the garage, the band is getting ready for practice.  Tiffany and Judy come in from surfing and tell the gang that rollerblading is next.  Sly thinks that the Dreams should rollerblade as part of their new image.

Tiffany says that she's not sure  about rollerblading, but that some bands have dances.  She suggests having her mother help them out with some dance moves.  They all keep crashing into each other, but Tiffany does well.  Judy tells her that she must get her talent from her, as her dad has two left feet.  Tiffany looks uncomfortable, and turns off the music.  Jenny asks Tiffany if she's okay, and she says that everything is fine.

They next day, Judy is sitting at the counter at Sharkey's.  Tiffany comes in and says that she got a message to come to Sharkey's and wants to know what's up.  Just then, the gang jumps out from behind the counter and surprises her.  It's her birthday.  I think it's weird that this is the first time in the whole episode that we're hearing about this.

Tiffany says that her birthday isn't until the next day.  Jenny says they did it early because she always has dinner with her father on her birthday.  Tiffany asks her mother if that's okay, and Judy tells her that she doesn't want to get in the way of her relationship with her father.  Everybody "awwws" again.

Sly comes in and yells "Surprise!"  and realizes that he's late.  Tony tells Sly that the "Tony Wicks Surprise party etiquette"  rule is very simple:  "Don't be late"  Sly explains that he was late because he was busy lining up an audition for the band.

Tiffany asks whose present she should open first.  Everyone thrusts theirs at her.  She opens her mother's first.  It's a plane ticket to New York.  Judy says that even though it was awkward, she talked to Tiffany's dad and he agreed that Tiffany could live with Judy for a year if she wants to.  Well, that's out of the blue.

Then Tiffany implodes.  It's about damn time!  Go, Tiff, GO!

Judy just sits there and watches Tiffany yell.  Then she leaves.  The rest of the gang looks concerned, but Judy just sits there.

Back in the Garrison kitchen, the band sits around talking.  Matt says that he's never seen Tiffany so angry.  He never knew she could get angry.

Tiffany joins them in the kitchen and tries to convince them all that she's fine.  Mrs. Garrison comes into the kitchen and tells her that her mom is leaving, and hands her Judy's address and phone number in case she changes her mind.    Tiffany says that Judy is doing what she does best - leaving.   She rips up the paper, and hands it back to Mrs. Garrison.

The band leaves for their audition.   

In the garage, they're in costumes that fit their new image, thanks to Sly.

Jenny asks if anyone else wants to "slamdance"   Tony says no, but he's pleased that he can dress like that and still look good.

Sly brings the club owner into the garage.  He introduces them as the "California Nightmares"

The club owner bops his head along with the music and gives Sly a thumbs up.  Jenny slamdances.  Everyone else jumps around the garage acting like maniacs.  At one point, Sly lands in the lap of the guy they're auditioning for.

The guy tells them that they're great, but he hates the image.  He wanted a "nice" band.  Everyone gets mad at Sly.  Sly says "I'm an idiot!"  and no one disagrees.

Tiffany gives Sly a pep talk about getting what you want, and realizes that she has to stop her mother.  Back at Tiffany's house, the phone rings. It's Jenny wondering how everything went.  Tiffany admits that she couldn't catch her mother because her spikes on her jacket set off the metal detector and she couldn't get past security.  20 years later, and you can't even get to  security without a boarding pass.

Tiffany hangs up, and goes into her closet.  Just as she closes the door, her mother enters the room and goes over to the bed and starts picking up all the stuffed animals.  Tiffany comes out of the closet and sees her mom.  Judy is pleased that she kept all of the "stuffies"  Tiffany tells her that she loves them because they remind her of Judy.

Judy asks what happened to the bunny (Hoppy Harry, is his name for those of you making the super hard trivia game), and they both say knowingly, "Sly!"

Judy asks what they should do now.  Tiffany says that they can't get back the time they lost, but they could try to be friends.  Judy agrees, and the episode ends.  Bye, Judy!  Too bad we'll never see you again!

and that's a wrap.  See you next time I have a free moment to recap!