California Dreams - S1:EP11 - "They Shoot Videos, Don't They?"

Sly enters Sharkey's wearing a wacky vest, and carrying a giant camcorder.  Remember those things?

Sly introduces the viewers to the Dreams.  He introduces Jenny as his future wife.  Jenny: I'll be your wife when Murphy Brown marries Dan Quayle.  Whoa, that's the 2nd Dan Quayle reference this season.  So timely!

Tony wants to say hello to some special ladies.  He begins listing them when Sly reminds him that it's only a 2 hour tape.

Sly walks over to Matt and Randy Jo (hey! she's back!)  "having a tender, private moment"  Matt tells Sly that he ruined said tender moment and shoves a hamburger bun at the camera.  Randy Jo wonders aloud if Sly is on some medication that he forgot to take.

Sly tells them that he wants to enter them in a video contest.  The winner gets $10,000.

Sly and Tony drool over a girl who walks by.   Tiffany hands Sly a tissue.  Randy Jo tells Matt that he's the best boyfriend ever because he didn't even look at the girl who walked by.  Matt tells her that he already has everything he wants to look at.   The audience reaction track "Awwwws"

Sly runs off to begin casting the video.  He approaches the girl from a few seconds ago and tells her he's going to make her a star.  She says that she's always wanted to be an astronaut.

Back at Casa de Garrison,   the family is eating dessert.  Mrs. Garrison says how much she likes the cheesecake.  She admits that it's not as good as the cake from hers and Mr. Garrison's honeymoon.  The kids finish the story for her.  They've heard this one before!

Dennis and Jenny joke about how mushy it is.  Matt thinks it's nice; he wants to be romantic when he's old!  Mrs Garrison: Thanks!  I think"

In the Garrison kitchen, Sly, Matt and Jenny are discussing plans for their video.  Sly's plan involved Matt kissing someone named Nikki Denteen.  Jenny tells him that Randy Jo will never go for it.  Sure enough...

Later that night at the movies, Matt and Randy Jo are arguing about it.  Matt insists that it's "just acting"  Randy Jo asks Matt how he'd feel about her kissing the football captain, and suddenly it clicks.

In the garage the next day, the gang is preparing to film their video.  Matt tells Sly that he's not going to kiss Nikki.  Sly tells him that he has to.   Matt tells him that he promised Randy Jo that he wouldn't kiss Nikki.  They argue for a bit, then Tiffany jumps in and gives Sly a pep talk about keeping promises.  Sly agrees to change the script.  He walks over to Nikki and whispers something to her.  She nods.

At that moment, Randy Jo runs into the garage and asks if she can watch them film.  They begin fliming, and Nikki kisses Matt anyway.  Randy Jo is pissed.  Sly calls "Cut!"  He tells Nikki and Matt how great it was.  Randy Jo goes up to Matt to give him an earful.  He insists that he didn't know it was going to happen.    She tells him that she'll never trust him again, and leaves.  Matt yells at Sly and leaves to go after Randy Jo.

At Sharkey's, everyone comments on how mad Matt is.  Tony says that Matt has a right to be mad and that Sly is a "no good, video-shooting, bimbo-casting, relationship-killing chump"  -- and that's on a good day!

Tiffany tells them that Sly really wants to help Matt fix things with Randy Jo.  Jenny says that Sly should stay out of it.  Right on cue, Sly runs into Sharkey's and approaches Randy Jo.  She says "back off, Sly!  I've got a fork and I know how to use it!"

Sly tells Randy Jo that Matt is really sick.   He can't eat or sleep, and his fever is so high, "you can fry bacon on his face!"  Randy Jo decides to go see if Matt is okay.  She gets up to leave, and Matt walks into Sharkey's  He's excited to see her, but she gets pissed again.  Matt goes to yell at Sly.  Sly tells him he was trying to help, but Matt says to stop "helping"

In Matt's room, Tony is trying to help Matt too.  He encourages him to try calling Randy Jo again.  Matt said that he's already  called 12 times.  Tony tells him to forget about girls, and leaves for his date with Jasmine.

Down in the kitchen, Tiffany is telling Jenny about a new guy she met.

In the garage, Mr and Mrs.  Garrison have just found their wedding cake topper with a copy of their wedding vows!

Poor Matt can't get away from all the relationship talk.

Also, it should be noted that their "vows" said" We met in the spring, and dated through the summer.  Without you in my life, fall is a bummer!"  Mrs. Garrison says: "and I married him anyway!"

Matt tells his parents that he's still upset about Randy Jo, and they leave him in the garage with his thoughts.  He laments being single while everyone else has someone.  I  know that feeling all too well, Matt!

He sits down at his keyboard and sings a song about being single.  Sly comes into the garage with the camcorder, and tells Matt that the song sounds good.  Matt is still mad and tells him to go away.

Sly has a new idea for the video; this time, he wants to get kissed.  Matt doesn't want to hear it.   He asks Sly again to leave him alone.  Sly gets really serious for a moment and apologizes to Matt.  He actually sounds sincere.  Matt accepts his apology and tells him that they can discuss everything later.  They shake hands, and Sly leaves.

Matt tries singing is new song again, and Sly sneaks back in with the camera.

Later, Sly comes into the kitchen, and sees Mr. and Mrs. Garrison leaving for their anniversary.  He congratulates them and they leave.  He asks Jenny what she thinks about getting the band together to practice.  She thinks it might help lift Matt's spirits, and agrees to call Tony and Tiffany.

When Jenny is out of the kitchen, Sly asks Dennis how he feels about being a "home video engineer"

Cut to the garage, Dennis is hiding in the trash barrel with the camcorder.  Dennis asks why he can't just tell them that he's filming them.  Sly says that he doesn't want them to think he's being insensitive and exploiting Matt's feelings.  Dennis is like "yeah, and?"  Sly tells Dennis to shut up and get in the garbage.

When everyone else enters the garage, Tony goes right for the barrel and is about to throw a cup away. Not wanting Dennis to get caught, Sly tells Tony that he'll take care of the cup.

Sly asks Matt if he can think of a song to play.  He wants something "depressing and not about being in love"  Matt is like "hey let's sing my new song"  Jenny is about to throw away her gum, and Sly takes that too.  Ew.

Tiffany comes into the garage and apologizes for being late.  She offers the gang the last of her milkshake.  When they decline, she throws it away before Sly can stop her.  From inside the trash, Dennis says "mmm! Chocolate!"

Later, (the next day?)  Everyone is wondering where Sly is.  Apparently he asked them to meet him  there.  When he arrives, he asks them if they remember the video contest.  Jenny is like "yup.  Not happening"  Sly is like "haha I entered you anyway!  He tells them that he filmed them when they were in the garage.  Everyone is really mad until they find out that it's going to be on TV.

Cut to some sort of local station, where they play the video.  It starts with everyone in the garage, then cuts to a montage of scenes that we've never seem before.

Everyone loves the video.  They find out that they didn't win, and are a little disappointed.  Sly apologies.  Matt says that it's okay; he just misses Randy Jo.  Sly has something that will cheer him up.  He sent Randy Jo the video, and she's waiting outside!

They make up, and leave to go talk.  Everyone is amazed that Sly did something nice.  Jenny is amazed that Dennis helped.  She wants to know how much Sly paid him.  Right on cue, Sly's date and a girl Dennis' age show up.  Dennis: Come on, Sly !  We can't keep the babes waiting!

California Dreams - S1:EP10 - "Romancing the Tube"

Tiffany joins the gang at Sharkey's.  Matt expresses is condolences that Tiffany broke up with Kevin.   Who is Kevin?  Why are we only hearing about him now?  Tiffany says that she's okay.  Jenny is impressed, as the last time she broke up with a guy, she locked herself in her room and watched thirtysomething reruns for a month.

Tiffany claims that they break up taught her some important lessons that will help her future relationships.  Speaking of Tiffany's future relationships, when do we get to season 2?  I want the Jake episodes!

Tony wants to know what the important lesson was.  Tiffany explains that Kevin couldn't swim, so now she only wants to date surfers.  Right on cue, Sly comes in with a surfboard.   Or, I should say, he TRIED to come in with a surfboard.   He actually ran into the door while holding the surfboard.  Once he makes it into Sharkey's, he ends up running into several people and nearly knocking them over with the board.

Like, McKayla Maroney, Tiffany is not impressed.

Tony explains that Sly doesn't actually like surfing, he just likes surfer girls.  Since they'd rather drown him than date him, his plan is to pretend to be a surfer.

At the next table, Sly is flirting with a group of girls.  He asks them "who wants to make some waves with Uncle Sly?"  One of the girls says "wipe out!" and they all dump their water on him.  An extra in the background makes a big deal out of laughing.

Tiffany tells Sly that surfing is serious business and he shouldn't exploit it.  Sly insists that he's not exploiting it.  He's using it for his own personal gain!  Tiffany offers him some surfing pointers.

Back at the garage, Tony and Matt show Jenny an ad for the "Garage Band Lighting System"  Apparently it's going to "blow away the competition with a pulsating extravaganza of color"  It sounds a lot like the fireworks that my aunt buys every 4th of July.

Turns out, it costs $300.  This will not end well.

Matt suggests asking their mother to hire them to do some work upstairs.  Jenny points out that this is counterproductive because then Mrs. Garrison would have to hire someone to do it right.

Mrs. Garrison comes into the garage.  Matt asks if they can paint the upstairs.  "We'll do it for only $300!"  Mrs Garrison says no pretty quickly.  Jenny points out that some cultures eat their first born. o_O

Matt begs Mrs. Garrison some more.  She's basically like "nice guilt trip, kid!"  and they get the job.  Matt asks to be paid in advance, and Mrs. Garrison agrees.

Everyone cheers.  Then Sly and Tiffany come in after Sly's surfing lesson.  They had a great time on the waves, and Tiffany tells Sly that he's a natural.  Jenny tells them that she, Tony and Matt will paint the room so the surfers can have more time on the waves.

Later, the gang is at Sharkey's.  Tiffany and Sly join them.  The others notice that Sly and Tiffany seem to be getting along well lately.  (Tiffany even gave Sly a surfer nickname - Splashy Nose or something equally silly/ridiculous.

Sly tells them that he and Tiffany are going to the movies together later that night.

Jenny tells Tiffany that she's nuts.  Tiffany says that no, she's not nuts.  Sly wants to be loved, and frolick in the waves like a happy porpoise. No, she really said that  I think I agree with Jenny.  Tiffany is nuts.

Later, at the movies, Tiffany and Sly keep sneaking glances at each other.  The movie ends, the lights come up, and Sly wipes away a tear.  Tiffany catches him.  Sly says that he's not crying about the movie; he's upset about paying $7.50 for "this garbage"!  Aww, remember when movies were cheap?  I remember paying $7.50 in the mid-nineties.  I think it was $4.50 for a matinee back then.  I can't remember what I paid last time I went to the movies.  I think it was over $11.

Tiffany tells Sly that she thinks it's beautiful when a man cries.  Sly tells her that he's glad she didn't see him when he watched Bambi.  Then this happens:

Then they have a conversation that mimics the last line of the movie they just watched.  They kiss, and the camera pans over to the gang watching in disgust.

The next day at Sharkey's, Tony and Matt join Sly, and ask him where Tiffany is.  He tells them that she's out "checking on the surf"  and that he misses her.  Tony and Matt congratulate Sly on his newfound happiness.

Just then, a girl comes over and tells Sly that his surfing impressed her and she wants him to join her for a couple waves.  He perks up for a second, then turns her down.

The girl leaves, and Sly turns back to the guys to talk about Tiffany some more.  Then another girl comes over to ask Sly to boogie with her, using the extra boogie board.  He turns her down too.

Yet another girl comes over and asks Sly to help her rub on some tanning lotion.  He looks at Matt who shakes his head.  Sly pouts and asks "just the shoulders?"

They girl offers to help him. She grabs his hand and puts it on her shoulder.  Sly says "I can't"  The girl says "Your loss!"  "I know" Sly whimpers.

Sly realizes that he misses chasing girls and decides that he needs to break up with Tiffany.

Back at the Garrison house, Matt and Jenny have begun the painting session.  They complain that Tony hasn't done anything yet. Sly comes in and they ask him if he broke up with Tiffany yet.  He confesses that he doesn't know how to dump a girl.  Tony points out that it's because Sly is usually the one getting dumped.  Sly decides that he's going to find a way to get Tiffany to dump him.  Jenny tells him not to play games with her.  Sly says that he's going to give Tiffany a list of rules to follow if she wants to keep dating him.  I don't see this ending well either.

Sly decides to test the rules out on Jenny.  After each one, she rolls paint onto him.

After Sly leaves, Tony, Jenny and Matt end up having a paint fight.  Dennis (I feel like we haven't seen him for a while!) comes in and tells them that Mrs. Garrison wants them to quit it.  They all surround Dennis and include him in the paint fight.

Back at Sharkey's, Sly gives Tiffany the list of rules.  She says that she'd love to commit to his rules.  Sly is quickly realizing that his plan isn't going the way he'd hoped.  Tiffany says that it's important to state your needs upfront.  In fact, she's going to make a list of her own!  After they compare lists, they'll celebrate their love with a "Soul Swapping Surfer Ceremony"  She explains that it's the customary way for Pacific Coast surfers to seal their eternal love.

Tiffany comes into the garage and Sly is there.  She acts surprised to see him at rehearsal.  (why wouldn't he be there?)  He lies that he couldn't stand to be apart from her.  He tells her that he wants to talk to her about the ceremony, and she says that it can wait because she wants to sing him a song.

She sings "Let Me Be the One" which I don't remember hearing more than once on the show.  I know there were a handful of repeats, but I think this is the only time that this song came up, which is fine, because it's, um, not very good.

After the song, everyone cheers.  Tiffany asks what Sly wanted to say about the ceremony.  He chickens out and tells her that he can't wait.  They run off to talk about the arrangements.

Just then, Dennis comes into the garage to tell them that they have mail.  It's their new lighting system!  They run into the kitchen to check it out.  Dennis tells Matt that he tipped the delivery man and wants to be reimbursed.  Matt tells him that it was nice of him, and hands him the money.  Matt leaves.  Dennis giggles and says "Sucker!"

Matt, Tony and Jenny go into the kitchen to open their package, and Matt pulls out.... a flashlight.  Tony wants to know what's up with the "bubble gum boy scout flashlight"

Matt says that they'll return it.  Jenny points out that it's non-refundable and complains that they got ripped off.  Matt says that the box includes colored gels,  He realizes that they did, indeed, get ripped off.

Mrs. Garrison comes into the kitchen to say that the upstairs room looks like a Guns and Roses motel room. Jenny apologizes and says that they threw in the towel.  Mrs. Garrison asks for her money back.  Matt explains that they already spent it on the lighting system.  Mrs. Garrison says that she'll confiscate it until they pay her back.  Oh well!

Next up is the Surfer Ceremony thing and it's ridiculous and I'm tired and can't recap it.  Let's just say that it  involves a lot of surfers hanging around Sharkey's, throwing around words like "Gnarly" and trumpeting out of conch shells.  Matt strums his guitar and sings softly.  The surfer dudes do the wave.

the guy in the middle is the Great Surfer Guru.  No, I'm serious

When the Surfer Guru tells them that the ceremony means they can't "scope other Betties and Tommies"  Tiffany realizes that she wants to be free to date other people.  They Sly gets all upset about it even though he's the one who wanted to break up with her. 

The Guru dismisses everyone to go out and surf.

Two girls come up to Sly and ask him to join them out on the waves.  He realizes that he'll be okay after all.

aaaaaand.... SCENE.  Man, this episode was a weird one.  No wonder it took me a week to finish,

California Dreams: S1:EP5 - "Dream Man"

The episode opens with Matt sitting at the counter in Sharkey's playing his guitar and writing.  He says "this is great!" over and over again, then "this is terrible"

Tony comes over, and Matt tells him that he's having trouble writing a song.  Sly joins the other two guys and   rambles about fire-breathing concerts and burning eyebrows... or something.

Jenny walks in with a friend of hers, and Tony and Sly stare.

The guys go over, and Tony tries to pick up the friend by saying, "Afternoon, Jasmine.  You are as fine as wine, and if I had a glass I would toast to your beauty."  Jasmine says, "You better take your smooth talking, wine drinking, desperate for a date behind and get out of my face." 

Sly tells Tony to "Watch a professional" and turns to Jenny, who tells him not to bother, as she only dates humans.  The guys give up, and Tiffani joins Jenny and Jasmine.  Tiffani says that her father is going away for the night and asks if she can stay at Jenny's.  Jenny says that it's fine and invites Jasmine to join them.  Jenny suggests inviting someone named Penny.  Tiffani is excited about the idea of having a slumber party.  Sly overhears, and he's also excited about the slumber party.

Next scene!  The girls are sitting in Jenny's room eating brownies.  This makes me reminisce about all the sleepovers my friends and I had in elementary and middle school.  We used to order pizza and watch movies and stay up late.  I had one friend who moved away in 4th grade, but she used to invite me to her parties with her new friends.  We played Dream Phone and Girl Talk and never slept.  Good Times!

Penny looks through Jenny's closet, and pulls out a dress.  She says, "Our tastes are SO similar!  Like, if I saw this dress in a store, I'd totally buy it!"  Jenny points out that the dress is  Penny's.  Jenny borrowed it from her.

Tiffani finds the diary that she gave to Jenny several years earlier.  Tiffani reads aloud, and finds an entry where Jenny talks about how happy Tiffani always is.  Tiffani's like "I used to be kinda perky, huh?"  and the other girls nod knowingly.

Down the hall, Matt is playing the piano in his room.  Tony comes into join him, hoping to get a little closer to Jasmine.  Sly joins them as well, dressed in all black, for some reason.

Matt asks if he was spying on the girls.  Sly says that he was until they pulled the shades down.  Tony tells Sly that he shouldn't spy through the windows, he should use a peephole!  Then he looks around Matt's room for one.  Matt's like "I don't spy on my sister, weirdo"

Sly pulls a stethoscope out of his duffel bag and suggests that they try to listen to the girls.  Matt kicks them out so he can concentrate, and Sly formulates another plan.  They're still driving Matt crazy, so he goes downstairs to practice.

Dennis comes into the room, and initially refuses to help the guys spy.  Sly offers him a quarter.  Dennis is like "HELLS NO!  Gimme $5" Sly agrees.

Next scene.  Back in Jenny's room, the girls are playing truth or dare.  Dennis comes in and tells Jenny that when he was in her room earlier, he lost Phil... his pet tarantula.  The girls all run out.  Sly comes in and hides under the bed.

Down in the kitchen, Matt finally has some peace and quiet.  Then the girls run down, still screaming.  Matt tells them that he's still trying to write the song, and Tiffani offers to help.

He tells her that the song is about a guy who moves to the beach from the midwest, and doesn't know how to surf or swim.  Tiffani says that if he can play volleyball, he'll fit in.  Matt looks at her like she's crazy, but is willing to give it a try.  He asks Tiffani to write some lyrics.

Tony joins the girls in the kitchen, and pretends to be surprised to see them.  Jasmine just looks annoyed.  Tony reads Jasmine a poem he wrote.

You're the one who I desire

My heart is burning, It's on Fire

That I feel this way is not surprising

When You're around, my temperature is rising

Back in Jenny's room, she says that she's surprised the Sly isn't there since he's always following her around. Unbeknownst to her, he's under the bed with a notebook!

Tiffani tells Jasmine that Tony really likes her.  Jasmine admits that she thinks he's cute, but also thinks that he tries too hard.  

The girls start talking about their dream guys.  Tiffani says that her dream man loves children, wears sweaters, and likes fish tanks and trolleys.  She pauses for a moment and realizes who she's just described.  

Jenny starts to describe her dream man, so Sly grabs a piece of paper and a pen from the basket under Jenny's bed.  He starts taking notes.  Her dream man is "handsome and honest, loves french food, fine art and foreign films."  The first time she sees him he'll be wearing an Italian suit and a silk tie.  He'll say something incredibly romantic. From under the bed, Sly decides he's up for the challenge.

The next day in the garage, Tiffani brings Matt the lyrics she wrote.  Matt starts to play guitar, while Tiffani sings:

Tommy came from the hills of Iowa-y

to live on the beach in sunny LA

He knew how to farm and how to breed cattle

But when it came to swimmin', he couldn't doggy paddle!

Tommy can't swim

Tommy can't surf

Tommy can't throw a frisbee

Tommy can't tan

Tommy can't clam

Tommy's allergic to sand fleas

At this point, Matt can't go any further, and just sits in awe.  Tiffani asks him why he stopped.  She has another whole verse about spiking the volleyball, goshdarnit!

Matt lies that he was moved by her song.  Poor Tiffani is so happy, that she suggests they play it at practice later.  Matt quickly says no, and takes the lyrics from her, suggesting that they "let it breathe"

Jenny and Tony come into the garage.  Tony complains that Jasmine turned him down again.  Sly comes in to the garage in a suit, carrying a bouquet of flowers.  He introduces himself as the "sensitive, honest Sylvester"  Everyone laughs, and he gives Jenny the flowers.  Jenny asks the others if it's a joke, but none of them know what's going on.  He tells Jenny that it's not a joke and excuses himself to drive his mother's church group to the Museum of Fine Arts.

Later, at Sharkey's, Jenny confesses to Tiffani that she "might like" Sly.  Sly comes over to sit with Jenny and Tiffani leaves.  Sly asks Jenny if she'd like to go to a French Bistro, then "catch a foreign film"  When I was in high school, "dates" consisted of hanging out in the center of town and eating at Papa Gino's.

Sly brings Jenny home after the date, and she happily dances around the kitchen.  Matt spits out his water when Jenny tells him that Sly might be the man of her dreams.  Dennis comes into the kitchen and asks Jenny where Sly is, because Sly hasn't paid him the $5 yet.  Jenny asks what the $5 is for, and Dennis spills the beans after Jenny offers him $10.  

The next day at Sharkey's, Matt is talking to Tony about Tiffani's lyrics.  Tony isn't listening.  He's still bummed about Jasmine turning him down.    Matt tells him that it's okay if one girl isn't into him.  Tony goes over to Jasmine to apologize for always bugging her.  She gives him a kiss, because it was the first time he didn't use a line on her.  Tony makes sure to let Matt know that he was wrong, then goes off with Jasmine.  

Later, at band practice, Sly arrives in another suit.  Jenny goes over to him and suggests a romantic dinner for later.  She has a plan.

Tiffani suggests that they start off the practice with the new song.  Matt is forced to tell Tiffani what he really thought of the lyrics.  Tiffani says that she's more hurt that he didn't trust their friendship enough the tell her the truth.  Matt looks at her and very seriously says "I know, you're right.  I'm sorry"  Tiffani smiles and says "Okay, I forgive you!"  That exchange reminded me so much of how my old co-worker and I were when we made up after an argument.  Maybe I was unintentionally channeling Tiffani that whole time?

Next scene!  Jenny is preparing dinner for her and Sly.  She "accidentally" pours their drinks on him

Jenny goes to get the soup, and pours that on Sly too.  When he finds out that dinner is shish-kabobs, he suggests skipping dinner and talking instead.  Jenny brings her journal into the kitchen, and leaves.  Sly snoops and finds out that she knew he was faking everything all along.  She chases him around the kitchen, and tells him that him using her private thoughts to manipulate her really hurt.  Sly apologizes and tells her that he's been hurt too.  Jenny doesn't believe him, until he tells the story of a crush he had when he was younger. He wrote her a love letter, and it made everyone laugh, even the teacher.  Jenny apologizes and offers to talk if he ever needs to.  He thanks her and asks for a kiss.  Jenny declines.